Book-loving Thai

After a quick visit to the supermarket at the local mall, which was all but empty, I went to the bookstore nearby.

I always drop in to this shop.

At home, I have a large collection of books written for Thais learning English. I bought them when I first arrived in Bangkok, and still use them to help me teach.

Back then, the books were written mainly by Thais who had learnt English at university, here and abroad. They were dry, heavy, and boring.

Today, we have entered the digital age, and publishers are getting smarter.

Many 'pocketbooks', as Thais call them, are sold together with a CD-Rom, by television personalities, Thai and farang alike, who have their own TV shows and language schools.

More ambitious authors package books together with VCDs in huge boxes which are plastic-wrapped. You have to ask staff to open them if you want to take a look.

I saw one on sale, written by a Thai, for B700. I took one look at the blurb in English and knew straight away whether it was worth that price. It is among the top 20 best-selling items in the shop.

What happens when the buyer gets his or her purchase home? I suspect the 'pocketbooks' end up on the sitting-room table. The bigger packages, in the pre-wrapped boxes, might end up under the bed.

Confronted with so much choice, some parents give up, and let their children get on with it. They park them in front of the English language section, while they browse elsewhere.

I tried to look at what was on the shelves, but could not reach them. The space between the aisles is narrow, and youngsters were sitting on the floor, reading.

Next to me, one biggish Thai woman was negotiating with her two children, aged under 10.

'Now, just one book each today, please...' she said in Thai.

She tried to move past, perhaps to give me more room.

'Ex- cu-seme ...fub.'

In English, she was trying to say, 'Excuse me, please.' And maybe she did say it, but it was so faint I could barely hear her.

Ironies abound in this place. We were standing right in front of a bank of books on English grammar. She was talking to a farang. Yet she could barely bring herself to speak the language she wants her children to learn. Perhaps she was worried someone would hear.

I looked at the beaming television personalities on the shelves - Khru Lilly, Khru Andrew, Khru Chris, and a few other sunny faces I didn't know. All want to teach Thais how to learn English.

They were smiling from the covers of their attractively packaged 'pocketbooks' and VCDs - but they were not laughing at her.

They know better than to mock...they just want to sell more books.

Pucker up

'Real' men among us are helpfully pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable manly behaviour among Thais, which makes it easier for those in the other camp, for whom girly behaviour can be hard to avoid.

A male university student, writing at the Pantip board, asks whether 'real' men who use lipstick to make their lips look a lighter shade run the risk of being labelled as gay. 'I use it, and have shown it to my uni friends, who say it looks sexy,' he says.

Sexy? Readers who left comments reckon it is acceptable for a 'real' man to use lipstick ('toner', I suspect), to change the colour of their lips. Thais do not want to look 'black', as they charmlessly put it.

To look white is to look Chinese, healthy and wealthy - even where the lips are concerned, not just the skin.

'Just don't make it too shiny or oily or your friends will tease you about being a girl,' one reader replied.

Postscript: Recently, another Pantip poster started a thread about 'guy liner' (eye liner for men) - a pencil which some guys use to shade in the area around their eyes. It gives them a Goth look.

Thai food gets dull (2, final)

No matter where you live in Bangkok, if you never left the soi (street) you live in, it would be easy to survive on Thai food alone.

The 7-11 convenience store doesn't stock much. They can sell you pre-packed slices of carboardy pizza or hamburgers, which they heat in a microwave.

But I feel guilty buying such food, as if I haven't bothered to organise myself a decent meal. It is there for when you fall hungry in the middle of the night and nothing else is open, or for when you have been drinking.

But if you want to cook with fresh meat or vegetables, you have to visit a supermarket. And not everyone lives next to one of those.

My boyfriend visits a supermarket every couple of nights. Sometimes he goes to a 24-hour supermarket about 10 minutes away, other times to the tourist centre in Silom.

He comes back with fresh meat, vegetables, and baking ingredients such as chocolate and cream. Unbelievably, the 7-11 does not even sell cream.

For the last four days, Maiyuu has made beef or pork steak for lunch. One day, he made it with pumpkin, the next potato, and then diced vegetable salad.

Today, he served a pork steak with large slices of garlic bread, which he made himself. When I came home last night, I saw he had also made several chocolate cakes.

I am enjoying eating western food again. Before the boyfriend started cooking western food every day, I seldom ate it, as no one sells it in the market.

If we visit the local shopping mall, we would rather go to a Japanese restaurant, or one which makes decent Thai food, which of course costs more than the food on sale at carts or market stalls.

Notice I say 'we'. My Thai boyfriend gets just as bored with the Thai food on offer around here as I do, which is why he has started making western food for lunch instead.

We all like a break occasionally, even from Thai food. It's supposedly among the best in the world, but in the hands of some Thais, can taste little better than the cardboard from the 7-11.

Thai food gets dull (1)

After years of surviving on Thai food alone, I am now branching out into western food, thanks to my Thai boyfriend, who is cooking foreign food for us every day.

Branching into western food - in Thailand? How shocking!

Foreigners flock to Thai restaurants in their home country, because they are cheap and in vogue.

When they visit Thailand, I am sure they enjoy eating Thai food here too, as it's more 'authentic'.

Yet many foreigners who live here do not seem to get to grips with a wholly, or even mainly Thai diet.

The food is too spicy, they say, or too dodgy.

'I don't buy food off the street,' my foreign friends at work tell me.

Off the street? They probably mean the wandering vendors who push carts selling fried chicken or squid on a stick, common in the tourist and business district of Bangkok.

Yet not all vendors are the wandering type. Some have semi-permanent stalls, just off the street, where they have catered to customers for years.

I usually buy from them...but even there, I can get bored with Thai food.

I live in a Thai market, a long way from the tourist district. Here, Thais are fussy about the food they get, partly because the price keeps going up.

In the centre of the market, a styrofoam box (one serving) of Thai food can cost B35. If I walk deeper into the market, into a small street 10 minutes away, I can get it for B5 less.

Thais who live in the market also complain about the price difference - but who can be bothered walking for 10 minutes when you feel hungry?

Every night, I order food from a stall in the market. It is run by a husband and wife team. The wife cuts the vegetables, while her husband cooks.

I wish it was the other way around. Some men are sloppy when they cook. This guy, who smokes heavily and cooks bare-chested, tosses in the ingredients and waits until they look hot enough to put into a styrofoam box. That's one order, ready to go.

I take one of his boxes of food to work, which I heat in the microwave when I get hungry.

Last night, as I was picking through a dish of fried rice and minced beef, I found a glob of shrimp paste, which he had thrown in without bothering to stir.

I am tempted to cancel our standing arrangement with that pair, as the food is often disappointing. Sometimes I can barely bring myself to eat it.

We pay the bill once a month. I keep ordering from them, because it is convenient to pay that way rather than having to find the money every night. Sometimes I am just too tired.

But you pay for what you get. One order from them costs about B35. In a Thai restaurant at the local shopping mall, which serves much better food, and where the owner pays higher rent, I would pay B80-100 for a dish.

now, see part 2

Growing pains

My partner is still on his cooking jag, which is a good thing. However, he also appears moody and uncommunicative. Maybe he needs to get out more?

When I came home from work last night, I found a large cheesecake in the fridge, which he had spent most of the day making.

Last night, after I went to bed, he made puff pastry. The day before, he made a meat loaf and onion soup.

While I go out to work and see people, Maiyuu stays at home, and cooks. His social life might suddenly light up after I walk out the door, but I doubt it.

He appears content to spend hours alone in his own company, cooking or baking.

But is he really happy?

We do not talk much at the moment. Maybe the cooking keeps him preoccupied.

We talked briefly about Academy Fantasia last night, and other tidbits I had read on the internet. It did not grab his attention.

He rarely sits in front of the television any more, as he used to do. The two of us would lie together, propped up on pillows. If I was lucky, he might give me a hug.

These days, he is too busy cooking, or planning his next meal. I suspect he is keeping himself busy because he is not happy. Is it money?

Today I will give him B3000 to meet household expenses. That might brighten him up.

I wish he would see his friends more, or at least try communicating with them.

I don't want any more of his long, fruitless trips to the provinces just yet. But he can always try talking to friends over the telephone.

He spends hours in the toilet adjoining his room, smoking. I wish he would not smoke in such a confined space. He is smoking too much, but I will not stop him. He gets prickly when I try to influence his behaviour.

Maiyuu was once diagnosed and treated for a spot of lung cancer., or so he said.

Am I worried he will get it again? Of course - barely a day goes by when I don't think about it.

Maiyuu is so fiercely independent that even if he did fall ill again, he would probably disappear to some cancer hospital in the provinces and that would be the end of it. He wouldn't want to be a burden.

What does he want? I don't know. But I wish he's go out and see more of the world. If gay Thais think that giving up on work to spend their days at home caring for their foreigner boyfriends is the ideal life, they are kidding themselves.

At work, I am opening up to people, particularly foreign staff, in a way I have not done for months or even years. I am chatting, joking, and having fun, the way I used to do in my old job overseas.

Here, I have never hid the fact that I like guys. The Thais don't care, as it's my business. But for most of my time here, I have let the Thai habit of acting reserved, and keeping things bottled up affect my relations with colleagues at the office.

My foreign colleagues appear to accept what I am, as there are much bigger things to discuss - such as where to find a good beef steak restaurant in Bangkok. A colleague from Ireland sought my advice on this matter the other night.

When I return home, my head is still buzzing with the night's conversation, the lively social interactions at work.

I get back to the condo to a Thai partner who looks morose and is barely interested in talking. It is like running into a brick wall. Why would you do it, if you had a choice?

He will have to find his own way out of the black hole he has entered. I can't help, as he won't let me, and to be frank, I have better things to do with my time.

What I do worry about is that I am outgrowing our relationship. Now, that's a dangerous thought.