Face slapping: New massage technique for men

Enjoy a good face slap?

A fresh meat trader at the Bang Kapi market in Bangkok offers a face-slapping service for men who like the fresh-faced look.

She says that by applying the right slapping technique, she can make the skin look fresher, more vibrant, and alive.

Beauty-conscious gays and kathoey who want to improve their appearance are among her most loyal supporters, says Plernrasami Ngernthongudompet, 39, who adds she took up face slapping to supplement her daytime income.

Plernrasami is a student of Thailand's pre-eminent face and breast slapper, Kemika na Songhla, who has appeared on television to demonstrate her technique (ตบนมอึ๋มและตบหน้าแอ๊บแบ๊ว).

Kemika slaps women's faces and breasts to make them bigger, though the stories I have read do not say how long the swelling lasts.

She has appeared on television to demonstrate her technique. To see the face-slapping demo, go here (link harvested - it died). For the breast-slapping demo, go here (link harvested - it died). 

In the first video, the programme hosts say they notice a difference immediately. The woman who volunteered to have her face slapped suddenly looked brighter and bigger in the cheeks.

In the second video, Kemika took her volunteer behind a couch. The volunteer took off her top and lay down on the floor out of view of the cameras. Kemika poked her head above the couch so she could carry on chatting with the programme host, as she set about slapping the woman's breasts.

Tdop! Tdop! Tdop!

Breast-slapping, she says, is not something she can show on national television. After the demonstration, her volunteer, was who wearing dark glasses to disguise her identity, submitted her chest to the tape-measure test. Before being slapped, her chest measured 32 inches.

Afterwards, the tape measure had barely budged, but the host agreed that she had developed a pleasing mound.

Kemika, whose massage technique has made headlines internationally, can show students how it's done for B1000.

'If I showed viewers how to do it on television, my income would dry up in a flash,' she told her host.

Women who visit Kemika at home to get their breasts slapped would feel uncomfortable in the presence of men who come in search of the service, she said. For this reason, she has declared her home must remain a male-free zone.

Spotting a market opening, her apprentice Plernrasami says she decided to offer the face-slapping service to men herself. She believes the market for slapping men has the potential to expand as least as much as that for women, as this is the age of metrosexuality, when men care about how they look.

She slaps the face in a way that makes the skin pores rise. She says getting results from men's faces is easier, even though their skin is rougher than women's.

She uses the front, back and side of hand, depending on whether she wants to make skin tauter, and the flesh on the face rise, or diminish.

However, Plernrasami says she has to slap men hard, which can be shocking at first. One session lasts 15 minutes for each side of the face.

Her teacher Kemika, who has been slapping women's breasts for more than 10 years, had complimented her on her slapping technique. 'You have a gift,' she said.

Plernrasami says many years of cutting up meat in the market have given her a sense of timing and strength in her hands which she needs to make this unusual massage technique work.

Source: Excite Thailand.

Postscript: I do not have a contact number for her. Nor do I know how much she charges.

Absent lover

My partner Maiyuu is on temple retreat. Looking after me is hard work, he says.

When I came home last night, the place was in darkness. Normally, it is lit up brightly, and Maiyuu is busy in the kitchen making something, with the TV going in the background.

Last night, nothing. When I called his number, no answer.

At midnight, I went downstairs to pick up an order of food which he had phoned through to a stall nearby.

Even though he is not here, he is still thinking of his awkward, demanding farang boyfriend.

Maiyuu says he will be away until Sunday, meditating at a temple close to Bangkok.

The other night, he said he was worried I would send a private detective to tail him, after I joked about wanting to know where he would stay.

'Yes, I have hired a detective for B500 a day to trace you and report on your whereabouts,' I joked.

'That's bad behaviour. You don't trust me,' he said.

I explained that I was not serious. Thais enjoy conspiracy theories and intrigue, especially if they are related to jealousy. If I hired a PI, it shows I really cared.

'You know me better than that - I am too mean with money to spend B500 a day on something so trivial,' I said.

That was a joke, too. Thankfully, he understood.

He went supermarket shopping at 5am yesterday, then carried on to the mall to buy a few extras, and to Silom, to buy me some clothes. He returned shortly before I left for the office.

I gave him a kiss as I left. Standing at the door for a final goodbye, I asked Maiyuu to smile for me.

He has a stunning smile. I wanted to remember that, to keep me company over the next two days.

Temple sojourn beckons

We are looking forward to pay day tomorrow, as Maiyuu has spent most of our money cooking and baking, mainly for me, but actually for anyone around here who is interested, as my stomach is not big enough to take it all.

Last night I took a bag of cookies, a piece of cake, and a bag of sausage rolls in to work. Free food, anyone?

Maiyuu is getting enthusiastic about supplying the eatery I have found in Thon Buri. After initially poo-pooing the idea, he is now warming to it.

'I would like to make a name selling a limited range of pastry products in small sizes which are well-packed. Women like small, cute things, and I will choose products which can last beyond a day without going stale,' he said.

As I write this, Maiyuu has made roti bread, cut into triangles, and a tiny bowl of massaman curry sauce, both presented to me on a small ceramic serving dish.

Maiyuu doesn't just cook and bake, but takes care to arrange his food well, which makes it more appealing.

I watched him rolling small sausages in thin strips of puff pastry yesterday and wondered where he found the patience.

Moments later, he presented me with a large dish of tiny sausage rolls, and a mayonnaise sauce in a tiny dipping bowl.

However, all this hard work can take it out of a boy.

Maiyuu has announced that he wants to seek solitude in a temple in the provinces for the next two days. 'Looking after you is hard work,' he says. 'I need time out every month to rest.'

When he is happy, as he is now, Maiyuu is super-productive, and rarely rests until the day is out. He visited to a gay-hairdresser friend later yesterday to get his hair cut.

Maiyuu packed an impressive bag of ginger cookies for his friend. He placed them in a plain plastic bag which, with the aid of tape and pair of scissors, he turned into a sachet, or small carry-bag with handles.

We do, however, indulge in an old man's habit in mid-afternoon. Most days now, Maiyuu and I retire for an hour's sleep.

Thais can sleep at any time, but sleeping during the day is a habit I have learned only recently.

I find it hard to sleep well in an empty condo, so I have asked Maiyuu to limit his temple to stay to one day, if possible. Most of those monks are trying to escape from the world anyway, right?

Living in the real world is harder but more fun, so bugger them.

Chinese New Year: Happy fat ang pao

Today is Chinese New Year. On one side of my condo hangs a large advertisement, placed by a condo developer. 'We hope you get a big fat ang pao gift,' it says.

Ang pao is Hokkien Chinese for red envelope.

Chinese people and their descendants give each other cash in red envelopes at Chinese New Year.

Boyfriend Maiyuu's grandmother comes from Thai-Chinese stock. He has no direct Chinese ancestry through his parents, but expects me to give him a red envelope anyway, as he likes getting money.

I bought a pack of red and gold ang pao envelopes from a local hardware store yesterday.

On the face of this year's envelopes is an ox, as 2009 is the Year of the Ox.

I only ever use one of them, as the only person to whom I give a red envelope is the boyfriend.

This morning when we woke he gave me a New Year's blessing for good luck and robust health in the year ahead.

I kissed his head, and presented him with his envelope. He has now gone to Silom to buy food.

Chinese shop in Talad Phlu

In the market where I live, many Thais live in shophouses - mainly two-storey affairs which have space for selling goods downstairs, and living quarters upstairs.

They were paying tribute to their ancestors this morning, as part of Chinese New Year festivities.

Some residents had put out food, as a sacrifice to the gods or their forbears. At one place I passed, the table was groaning with food. They light incense, and pray. Once that's over, some families sit down for a meal to eat it all.

Others burnt paper money in barrels. I passed several of these barrels this morning, with charred notes weeping smoke.

PS: Wiki tells me that the cash amount in the envelope should end with a lucky even digit (so, B500 qualifies). Next year, can I get away with giving him B250? It ends with the same digit, 0, after all.

The bamboo tray man

The khan toke (file pic)

We now eat our meals northern style, around a bamboo tray on the floor.

Maiyuu staggered in the door the other morning with a round bamboo tray, called a khan toke, on which we have eaten all our meals since. He bought it in old Thai market where we live.

'Eating khan toke' (ขันโตก) is a tradition passed down from the Lanna Kingdom in the North - and now we have our own taste of it in our humble abode in Thon Buri.

Food which accompanies rice is placed on the tray. Families gather in a circle around the tray and help themselves.

It is designed to take the dishes we eat with rice, though northerners also use them as general purpose trays.

'Where did you find that?' I asked Maiyuu, as he squuezed in the door.

The khan toke looked large in his hands.

'A man in the market sells them,' he said.

I go into that market at least half a dozen times a day. How come I had never seen them?

Maiyuu also bought a selection of northern food to eat on our khan toke, and made a few more dishes to accompany them.

Instead of sitting at the dining room table as we used to do, we now get down on the floor around our khan toke instead.

Did I mention that we sit in front of the TV? That's probably why Maiyuu bought it, but it is a romantic addition to the household nonetheless.

'Don't spill anything!' Maiyuu said sternly. I have clumsy fingers.

When the meal was over - we ate lobster and a few curry dishes for our first meal, and khao tom pla before bed - I carried the tray back to the table, where it sits when not in use.

'Don't drop it!' Maiyuu warned me again.

In Chiang Mai, visitors can dine in the khan toke style at the Khum Khan Toke restaurant. After dinner, guests watch Thai traditional dance on stage, including the fingernail dance and candle dance.

Some khan toke tables are multi-leveled affairs with legs. Ours is circular and made from humble bamboo, but others are crafted out of wood.