Autumn leaves, Darth Vader condo

'Don't you want to get up, and function as my handsome boyfriend, or maybe the gay girl of the house?' I asked Maiyuu this morning.

He had left his bedroom some time before I woke, and curled up on the couch in front of the television to sleep some more.

'I'm too old!' he complained.

'Get in line - I'm older, and deserve more sympathy,' I replied.

See, I told you we are both ageing fast.

Here's another old person's (okay, classic) song which I have enjoyed in the last 24 hours: Cole Porter's Every Time We Say Goodbye, which is so painless you don't even know the song has passed until it ends.

More nostalgia? Edith Piaf's Autumn Leaves. Can you believe that when I was a teenager, I bought an album of original Edith Piaf songs?

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Farang C left a glossy brochure for a condo outside my door last night. It's for a new 20-storey, 187-unit condo, the Ivy Residences (awful name) in Pin Khlao.

We know Pin Khlao well, as we used to drink there. 'It makes the place look so attractive, when we know it's not,' he said.

The brochure makes much of the view, but not a single daylight shot appears in any of its eight pages. All pictures are taken at night, when we can't see just how chocked up the traffic gets in that part of town.

Pin Khlao has no skytrain or subway service - it's part of the old Bangkok, which City Hall appears to have forgotten.

The one-bedroom executive suite is tiny - just 40-48 sq m.

The two-bedroom presidential suite is better: 78-90 sq m. The condo's website, which is also cloaked in darkness, is here (link harvested - it died).

On a day like today, we pass the time away...

Boyfriend Maiyuu reckons I am growing old before my time.

'Shall I buy you a walking stick?' he likes to ask.

We all know that (I've said as much before). However, recently he himself has started to feel old.

Some mornings, I see him dragging his haggard frame around the condo, like an old man in search of his glasses, or maybe his mate.

'Now, where did I leave my boyfriend...I know I saw him here a moment ago!'

I opened a post I wrote back in October, called Thai life: Growing old together.

This is popular with readers, even though it deals with the cheery subject of ageing and decrepitude.

The Adsense bot has read the post, and cuts straight to the chase. It has posted an ad on the top left corner offering me help with bed wetting.

I haven't reached that point yet - reversion to childhood - though it may not be far away. When I move, the body creaks. When Maiyuu moves around, he groans.

'Ehhhhhrrrrr.'

I heard him utter that bottom-of-the-bowel groan this morning. It came from deep in his soul somewhere, as old man noises tend to do. Why? Because we're permanently tired!

It could have been the wind in the trees, back in my home country, where they have trees. But it wasn't. It was my old man boyfriend, having an aged person's moment in the kitchen.

As long as two people have each other, who needs to go out? Few places cater to people our age anyway.

'This condo is so comfortable, I can stay in all day,' I told my neighbour farang C. He looked at me askance.

As a single man, he's rarely at home, and can't understand why I don't get out more. But as a married man leading a settled life, I can't see the need to take in the sights of exciting Bangkok, rub shoulders with Thais or whatever.

Just feed me, keep that wheelchair and my adult Pampers close, and we'll be set.

In keeping with my mood, I have been listening to old songs on YouTube.

How about Jack Payne's My Baby Just Cares for Me?

'My baby doesn't care for shows [true, in Maiyuu's case].

My baby doesn't care for clothes [Not true, unfortunately]

My baby just cares for me...'

Or Dionne Warwick, with Burt Bacharach/Hal David's Walk on By?

'If you see me walking down the street,

And I start to cry,

It's only me...'

I loved Burt Bacharach when I was young. It might be my parents' influence, or maybe I was an old man trapped in a young body even back then.

Or Al Bowlly and the Ray Noble Orchestra, with Love is the Sweetest Thing?

Love is the greatest thing

The oldest yet, the latest thing

I only hope that fate may bring

Love's story to you.

More of Al, with Moonlight on the Highway:

A place where roses remember

And folks forget me not

What else is worth dreaming of?

Moonlight on the highway

Please lead me to love...

Let's end on an upbeat note, though I can't promise I won't return to songs from this era. Maybe I lived back then in another life. Here's Lee Morse's Yes Sir, That's My Baby!

Yes, sir,
That's my Baby,
No, sir, don't mean maybe,
Yes sir that's my baby now!

Bonus track: Lee Morse, and her Love Letters in the Sand (1931). On a day like today, we pass the time away, writing love letters in the sand...

Daily radio brainwash...oops, briefing

Chef Maiyuu has whipped up some butternut squash (pumpkin) soup, with chicken shavings on top.

We bought the chicken the day before in Suan Phlu. Maiyuu took the leftovers and fried them, which gave them a pretty golden colour.

The soup was great, but being a person with a large appetite, I had to supplement that with another dish before bed - khao pad kra pao moo (pork with chile and basil leaves), with a fried egg on top, which I bought from a restaurant opposite our condo.

I couldn't ask Maiyuu to whip up anything for me, as his kitchen had closed for the day.

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Fancy a spot of Thai radio?

It's education radio, from the Centre for Educational Technology (ศูนย์เทคโนโลยีทางการศึกษา), which you can find at 92 FM on the dial, or here.

The presenters provide useful daily run-downs of the news in the main Thai papers, which is a highlight for me.

In the afternoons, when old folk like me like to kick back our feet, the station also runs Thai radio plays (Thai dramas or short stories narrated by a single person who adopts different character voices). Remember the old Western radio plays from last century? 

As I write this I am listening to a run-down of today's top stories, including the latest about the baby panda at Chiang Mai zoo.

For the most part, the announcers use every-day language, which makes a change from some broadcast outlets which like to talk down to people.

Listeners do encounter the occasional exception, especially where 'good news' from the government is concerned.

The panda story over, my presenters are now promoting 'serious' computer games developed by some state agency as a healthy alternative to the violent games which today's misspent youth play in internet cafes.

These include games which promote the King's sufficiency economy concept, in an agricultural setting.

Let me 'project': Farmer Sonchai walks on to field, holding a hoe. 'I don't mind being poor! It makes me feel good about life, and you can benefit too!'

Misspent youth - please form an orderly queue at this computer to receive your free copy.

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At my old condo, I listened to 92 FM over the television, as part of our subscription to the True Visions satellite TV service, which offers radio as well.

That was back in the days when we had our own dish. At our new place, we share a dish with other tenants. For some reason we can no longer pick up the station via True, perhaps because the dish is too old.

These days I shut the door of my bedroom and listen to FM 92 via the internet on my computer instead.

The boyfriend doesn't mind. He knows that if I get my daily fill of government propaganda, my personality will become oddly passive, and I will be that much easier to control.

Who wears the chef's hat in this kitchen?

Maiyuu is in the kitchen, making cooking sounds.

While he is busy whipping up some creation in there, I am often in my bedroom, tapping away at the keyboard.

I must admit, when I hear him approaching my room these days, I react like Pavlov's dog...I automatically assume he is bringing me something tasty to eat. Maiyuu - food! Maiyuu - food!

Sometimes, of course, he comes not bearing food but some instruction for the day or other cheerless news.

'Today you have to deposit your Adsense cheque before 2pm, so we can withdraw it promptly tomorrow!' he told me a moment ago.

I thought he was bringing me breakfast, but no. Normally he places his latest cooking wonder on the desk space next to me, then walks out again.

A moment later, from the other room, he will call out: 'Is it delicious?'

As yet, nothing has come out of his busy kitchen space today, but give him another half an hour...

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Blogs must change, along with everything else. In the header field under the title, I have changed the wording which describes what this blog is all about. It now reads:

'Going 'ba' Thai: Tales from a foreigner and his Thai boyfriend, who loves to cook. Who wears the chef's hat in this kitchen? Celebrity news and a diary thrown in.'

This is the only the second change in three years, and was overdue.

In the beginning, this blog focused mainly on Thai stars. These days, I can rarely be bothered, as I have passed that phase.

I prefer to write about Maiyuu and myself instead, as it feels more real.

The other day I found a mention of this blog on a list compiled by a Thai-resident farang woman blogger, who is planning to tell readers what she thinks of us all.

Feeling like a kid whose Mum is coming to inspect his room, I thought I had better get my house in order for the big day.

'Flesh blog!' I don't like the sound of that. 'Food blog!' - that sounds much better. The change to the wording in the header field more accurately reflects what I now want this blog to be.

To that end, Maiyuu now has his own category, called 'Chef Maiyuu's kitchen', which contains pictures he has taken of his own cooking and baking.

One cynical reader left a message recently which claimed that Maiyuu was only cooking for me to make up for what he fails to provide in other areas.

That brings me to the second small announcement I want to make today: I will no longer tolerate such random Thai bashing on this blog.

Only a truly pathetic soul would make such a miserable assertion...the poster knows neither me nor my boyfriend, but still feels fit to sow his poisonous seed. That is just so...lame.

From now on, I will do as the Daleks do: Exterminate, exterminate!

Supermarket discovery, groin itch curse

Maiyuu is whipping up some chocolate fudge, after yesterday asking me what fudge was.

'Like brownies, but smaller,' I said.

'I will try making it for us!' he said excitedly.

Maiyuu went out in search of ingredients, including corn syrup, which Martha Stewart uses in her baking as a thickener. After visiting a few places Maiyuu eventually found an imported bottle of the stuff at Villa Supermarket in Sukhumwit.

Maiyuu was excited by his discovery. 'A couple of shopkeepers told me I could only find it at Villa. The place is full of imported bakery items,' he said.

Dear Villa: I can see many more visits coming up. Maybe we should just buys shares?

The supermarket chain is popular with foreigners in Bangkok, according to the internet.

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Thank you to readers who offered advice on how to cure my groin itch, which I suspect is a fungal infection picked up from my condo pool.

I shall visit my local pharmacy (there are a couple in the slum area across from me) to see what they have in stock.

Three main groups of tenants appear to use the pool: oldies (mainly Thais, but also a few foreigner oldies like me); actively, sprightly farang (anyone still in their 20s or 30s); and youngsters learning how to swim.

Occasionally a group of teens also visits. They might be the offspring of tenants, or perhaps they snuck in from the local learning establishment (can't say the 'S' word any more - Adsense disapproves) next to us.

I am not sure which group brought with them the fungal infection. But whoever it is, I hope they are suffering the red itch as badly as me.