Putting the gay guy in his place

A talkative young man who studies in Thai traditional performing arts turned up at Mum's shop.

I have not seen Bor for a few months. He was the youngest of the performing arts students I used to know. Two years ago, we drank together regularly at Mum's shop in Thon Buri. Now, almost all of them have graduated and dispersed.

'I graduate this term, but will probably carry on studying, possibly at Mahidol University,' said Bor, who stood next to me at my drinking table.

'Do you have a girlfriend?'I asked.

'Yes...I have one of them now,' he said shyly.

I was drinking at a table on the sidewalk next to Mum's shop with farang C. Last time I saw Bor at the shop, farang C remarked on how he liked to touch me as we talked.

That time, Bor did not stay for a drink. Last night, he turned up with an older guy. They took a seat at the counter of Mum's hole-in-the-wall shop.

Half an hour later, a young woman joined them. Bor introduced her as his girlfriend. She gave me a wai.

'That's not really his girlfriend,' said farang C, who is straight, and claims to know the way young bucks tick.

'Look at how she sits, with a straight back. She also has her handbag in her lap, which is a bad sign. It means: ''You're not getting any of this tonight!'' ' he said.

It is true, she did look uncomfortable. Gallantly, Bor switched stools with her after the one she was one started to rock about.

Most of the seating at Mum's shop is in a sad state, as is the shop itself. I doubt Mum and her husband have the money to maintain, still less upgrade the place, as trade is so quiet.

'Maybe they just met,' I told farang C, giving Mr Bor the benefit of the doubt.

Later, a second girl joined them. Like the first, she stuck to drinking water, and nibbling at the food he had ordered from the eatery next door.

'Still, he's doing well to have two girls sniffing around him,' said farang C, ever the charmer.

After an hour of drinking whisky, Bor was looking unsteady. I called him over to sit with us. He declined.

'I am still talking to my girlfriend,' he called out.

I heard him make some remark to his friends that if he was to venture over to where I was sitting, I might try to feel him up. He was joking, but I would rather not have heard it.

His drinking companions looked up. His girlfriend turned around in her seat as if noticing me for the first time. She was smiling brightly.

She evidently likes gays, I thought to myself.

'You know why Thai girls like gays?' asked farang C. 'And by the way, you're acting camper than a row of tents tonight,' he added, which cheered my spirits even further.

I find it hard to keep the girl inside when I have a little whisky on board, it is true. Still, as with Bor's remark, I would rather not have heard it.

'Why?' I asked.

'It's because straight men can't satisfy them properly outside bed,' he said.

How profound. I should have added: 'Gay men have known that about you hopeless straight guys for years,' but I held my tongue.