Nitpicking at the outreach clinic, tenant's revenge

I saw a doctor close to work the other night. I visit a clinic staffed by doctors from Chulalongkorn Hospital.

That's a fancy hospital, but the clinic, which is in a slum, is not.

I asked about my ear, which feels sore and blocked.

'Did you play Songkran?' the doctor, a woman in her 30s, asked immediately.

When I first entered the clinic, the doctor was sitting behind the counter slurping on a Pepsi. From her casual appearance I took her to be a nurse, but I was wrong.

'No...I'm too old for that,' I replied.

Songkran revellers like to squirt each other with water, which can cause infections if it is dirty.

'I swim every day, but at the moment the water in the condo pool is green,' I said.

The doctor looked inside my ear and told me the canal was swollen.

She gave me two types of pills - one to abate pain, the other to cure the infection.

They are general all-purpose pills which dispensing staff keep behind the counter in jars.

The clinic, as I say, is in a poor area, where patients probably cannot afford expensive drugs. If I wanted a drug specific to ears, I might have to go somewhere smarter.

The dispensing counter, where patients report when they arrive, sits outside the only consulting room.

Two staff, possibly nurses, sit behind the counter looking after patients. As I handed over my prescription, one nurse was standing, peering into the other woman's scalp.

She held a pair of tweezers. She was parting the woman's hair with her other hand, as if looking for something. Every few seconds, she would pluck something out of her scalp, then lay it to rest on one of the jars in front of her. These drugs are so all-purpose, staff keep them in jars.

What was it? Nits, fleas, lice?

I didn't ask. The woman who was having her head examined took a quick look at my script, and started transferring my pills from jars into clear plastic bags.

We chatted, while the woman next to her carried on inspecting her head. She did not stop, nor did the woman serving me ask her to take a break.

She rarely looked up as she filled my prescription. She had to keep her head bowed while the woman poked about in her scalp with tweezers.

Snip, snip! Scratch, scratch!

The doctor came out to join them behind the counter. She resumed drinking her Pepsi on ice from a plastic bag.

'Why do I have to take so many tablets - four at a time, three to four times a day?' I asked.

'Farang have big muscle mass, so you need more,' she said, as she sucked on her straw.

The nurse handed me my little bags of pills, and I paid.

As I left, she was still having her head examined.

I hope they remember to clean the jar where she kept her lice deposits. If not, the next patient may end up taking away more than just pills!

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Farang C and I have decided to tackle the parking offenders at our condo in our own way.

Farang C is both my neighbour, and a colleague. We get sick of tenants parking outside our condo building, as it obstructs access.

Last night, we decided to do something about it.

At work, I drew up a notice which says in block letters: 'This is not a carpark. Go away!'

Farang C promptly took it to the photocopier and made 20 copies.

He gave some to me, and kept the rest. Now, when either of us spots a parking offender, we shall (in theory, at least) put one of these screaming notices under the guy's windshield.

We shall also hope he doesn't catch us while we are doing it.

The condo cleaners did what they could. They erected barriers of potted plants outside our building - number 2 in the complex - where lazy tenants like to leave their cars rather than carrying on to the carparking building at the far end.

Even with the potted plants, some owners still leave their cars there for extended periods.
One stubborn Mercedes owner even took to parking right in the condo entrance, until security guards filled the space with traffic cones.

I found the cleaner again yesterday, and asked if the Mercedes owner is Thai. He is indeed, she said.

That's good. If a farang caught me sticking a rude note under his wiper, he might get angry.

I would think twice about leaving a nasty note for a farang. So few foreigners drive cars in this town, he is probably inordinately proud of his status vehicle.

Thais are more passive, but might still ignore the message - we will see.