Dad apologises to son

I dropped in to see Ball in the morning. He was asleep.

His mother invited me upstairs, so I could talk to him as he lay in bed.

She said he could do with a cheap clothes hanger for his extra clothes. I agreed to buy one.

Mum went downstairs and left us at peace.

I spoke to my ‘son’ at length. I said I was unhappy about his mother's habit of leaving home in early morning and abandoning Ball and his elder brother Boy to care for the toddlers all day.

'It is your duty to find work outside home, so you can make money to build a better life. It's Mum’s job to look after the kids, not spend the day outside home in the company of friends as she has been doing.’

Ball said nothing, but I suspect he agrees.

I attempted to explain my absence over the last week.

‘I haven’t been dropping in to buy the brown stuff in the evenings because I want to save money.

‘I also want you to be around for a long time to come, and I can’t be sure of that if you are drinking,’ I said.

‘Soon, you will be a dad. I have to help prepare you for the big day,’ I said.

Ball smiled, and laughed at the right moments. We communicate often by humour.

‘I am sure you felt upset that I stayed away. How angry did you feel? I want to know,’ I said.

'I didn’t feel resentful. I just wondered what was wrong to make you stay away,' he said quietly.

I gave Ball some money last week as a New Year's present, to help him celebrate at a karaoke shop.

In the end, he didn’t go. ‘I stayed around home. I bought just a couple of cans of beer a night, or spent it on food. I didn't go out anywhere over New Year, but made the money last four or five days,’ he said.

Ball is learning how to use money prudently. I might carry on giving him a small allowance every week until he finds a job, as a test of his ability to look after money, measure his wants, and plan for what he needs.