Shopping bore

'You can't hear anything when we go out shopping, even when I am standing right next to you, talking. You get irritable, which makes me stressed.'

That is Maiyuu's explanation of why we do not go shopping together any more - unlike in the old days, when I first arrived in Bangkok, when Maiyuu would take me to department stores every weekend.

I had wondered why we never do anything any more, other than occasional sorties to the shopping mall five minutes from our home. Now I know.

I remember those days. I was new in Bangkok. In the heat, as I trudged along behind my boyfriend, I didn't know how to cope, except complain. My legs ached, my clothes clung to my sweaty body. It was not a good feel, or a good look.

All around me were Thais who did not seem to feel the heat. They kept a perfect composure, despite the fetid environment: their clothes looked unrumpled, their lustrous hair was unmatted.

Their young faces shone with the radiance of youth, not with the sweat on their brow, as we pushed and jostled about, on a humid, uncomfortable Bangkok day.

If we were going to Mahboonkrong shopping centre near Siam Square, Maiyuu would take me on a bus. We would get off the bus, then board a boat across the Chao Phraya river.

After that, we'd hop on another bus.

Getting there would take an hour. And that's even before the endless slog through the Mahboonkrong shopping centre, or other department stores in the area, even began - in search of trendy clothes shops, boutique earring outlets (he liked those - don't ask me why), stalls selling cheap but reliable movie and music CDs...

My boyfriend, raised in the provinces, was himself new to Bangkok when we met. Yet he appeared to know everything. I cannot recall one occasion - even one - when he would guide me on to the wrong bus, board a boat which went somewhere else, or even take me on to the wrong skytrain platform. He knew exactly where to go, yet he had been in this big city just six months before me.

Some Thais from the provinces accomplish far less. One foreigner friend tells me how he took a girl from the provinces to a Macro department store in Bangkok - only to have the girl freeze, too scared to venture any further.

An outing with Maiyuu to Mahboonkrong department store would take a whole day. I would spend half the next day recovering.

I don't want to go back to that phase in our relationship: it was too draining. That's why I am happy for Maiyuu to assume sole responsibility for shopping in town.

When I need new work shoes, as I do now, I ask Maiyuu to buy them. He goes to Silom or our old stamping ground, Siam Square, for a look.

He goes alone, as he is no longer willing to tolerate my constant complaints about the heat, sore feet, and so on.

Normally he comes back with a new pair of shoes, or new clothes if I need them, within a couple of days of my asking. Now he's getting slack.

More than six weeks ago, I told Maiyuu that the soles of my work shoes were getting thin, and I would like some new ones. He claims he went to Siam for a look, and ordered a pair. However, the shop had no shoes in farang size in stock. I would have to wait.

Well, it's now been weeks, and still no action. I threatened - oops, offered - to go shopping myself.

'My shoes hurt. Next week, I will go to Siam myself to look for a pair of shoes, as your shop takes too long. Please withdraw the money for me,' I told Maiyuu yesterday.

I knew that would get him going. Maiyuu likes to keep control of the finances, as he reckons I am no good with money. Left to my own devices, I would buy poor-quality shoes which are too expensive.

'I will take another look for you myself,' he said.

That's better. I had no intention of going back to Siam - I haven't visited the place in years. That's a place for the young. Let the Thai boyfriend do it, if he is so determined to hang on to my money.

Siam Square is a place of love, according to the director of the gay movie set there, Love of Siam. In that case, let Maiyuu show his love by going in search of a new pair of shoes for his fussy, hard-of-hearing farang boyfriend.

Dust off those dancing shoes

House-husband and former socialite Maiyuu..at 30, does this former energetic young man still have what it takes to dance?

Maiyuu went dancing at teen nightspot Or Tor Kor last night.

His friend Duck is back from Germany where he goes to visit his farang boyfriend.

Duck, who is Maiyuu's age, never grows up. He invited Maiyuu and a few other gay friends to go dancing.

Duck lives upstairs. Another gay friend, Joe, lives on another floor.

Joe is slightly older than Duck and Maiyuu, and also has his own boyfriend, a Thai. All are childhood friends from the seaside province of Chon Buri.

Fancy that - Maiyuu, Duck and Joe are all married. When I first met Joe and Duck eight years ago, they were still single and fancy free, and went out often.

Since he became a homebody, Maiyuu goes out only rarely. When I returned from work last night he was racing around, looking for clothes to wear.

'Duck has invited me to Or Tor Kor,' he said.

'How long has it been since you last went there?' I asked, surprised.

'Almost a year,' he said, laughing.

Up until a few years ago, Maiyuu and his friends went regularly - sometimes three or four times a week.

These days, middle-age is setting in. They are married, or too busy with work.

Duck's 'husband,' a gay German man, invites him to his home country every few months. After Duck returns, his German lover pays a visit to Thailand, and so on it goes.

Alone among the three friends, Duck does not work, but then he might argue that all that travelling about is a full-time, tiring job for a girl.

His German boyfriend has bought a home in Sataheep, Chon Buri. By next year, he will be here more often, so we will see even less of Duck in Bangkok.

The opportunities for Maiyuu to dance the night away with his friend will diminish still further.

Duck invited a third young gay friend, Rat. When I last met him months ago, he was still a student. I don't know what he does now, though I know he has a job.

As he ironed his clothes, I noticed Maiyuu was looking thicker around the hips.

'You look bigger - or maybe your underwear has shrunk,' I said helpfully.

Maiyuu can still look the part. I inspected his outfit before he walked out. He wore low-rising hipster jeans, a T-shirt, and waistcoat on top.

Years ago, Maiyuu took me to Or Tor Kor, and RCA, another Bangkok nightspot popular with teens. Young men threw themselves about with abandon. If this was dancing, I had never seen anything like it.

At RCA, nightspots are jammed next to each other, each pumping out their own dance hits. It was a maelstrom of heaving bodies, alcohol, and noise.

I danced a little - more than I should have, considering my age - but mainly just watched, and marvelled at the strangeness of the young.

After work last night, as befits my age, I went to bed.

I heard Maiyuu come home about 5am. When we rose this morning, I asked how it went.

'Were you the oldest there?'

'No - there were many older than me,' he said, looking annoyed.

'Did you dance?'

'Just a little,' he said.

I am sure Maiyuu just stood around, watching everybody else. Even with younger friends around, Maiyuu and Duck are now old enough to feel out of place in such settings, just as I did when they took me to those wild teen dance haunts all those years ago.

Do you feel yourself getting old, my love? When he is in a more receptive mood, I shall have to ask.

Ice-cream moment

I approached the 7-11. Outside, Mr Friendly was sitting on a plastic chair, eating an ice-cream.

Mr Friendly, whose real name is T, was taking a break.

He invited me to sit. The first chair he offered me had a blob of melted ice-cream on it. I peered at it, and declined. He laughed, and offered me another.

The last time we spoke, T was on a day off. I met him close to the 7-11. He was on his way to catch a bus to town, where he would meet friends at Central World department store.

T is from the North, and a newcomer to Bangkok. Thais from the provinces often have trouble finding their way around Bangkok.

On the day I met T, he was worried about whether he would manage to find the department store.

'I have my cellphone, so if I get lost I can call one of my friends,' he said, excusing himself to catch his bus.

When I met him outside the shop yesterday, I picked up our conversation from the last time we spoke.

'So, did you meet your friends in the end?' I asked.

'I did, but after leaving the bus I had to walk around for ages before I could find them,' he said.

T and I chatted about my work, and his own at the 7-11. We talked about snow ('Do you have snow in your home country?') and beer.

T has few friends in Bangkok other than co-workers at the 7-11. He's a personable young man...I hope we can get to know each other better.

Furniture blues

Our search for a new condo in which to live appears to be over, which might be a good thing. Maiyuu found a couple more places on the net, both charging rent of about B15,000.

That's almost double our present rent - where does he think we'd get the money?

One reason the rents are high is that these places are fully furnished, as are most rental places on the market. Maiyuu reckons we should sell our furniture, then move into a furnished place.

I disagree. We have good furniture; I do not want to sell it to some scalper so we can start again with nothing.

If we were tossed out of the new place, we'd have no home, and no furniture either.

He says the fact that we have furniture is an impediment to us getting a new place. True, but in that case, we needn't hurry to move.

We are lucky, in that we rent a condo in a lively market. So many people rent condo units on busy highways or in quiet residential areas, surrounded by nothing, not even places to eat.

When I turned down his proposal that we sell the furniture, he sniffed: 'Well in that case, don't talk to me about moving again, because it's annoying.'

He can't pretend he didn't want to move. Maiyuu would still love to have his own bedroom and kitchen.

Lately he has been happier, as he is busy at work. He cooks a little, but not every day like he did in the past.

That's the way it should be. Someone who is not even 30 should not be sitting home waiting for work to come his way.

If he finds work to do, he should make the most of it, and leave the condo moving to another day.

Flirting with a straight guy

I can report no progress on the condo-moving front. Maiyuu spent the day at work yesterday, and went back there again last night. He did not have time to call anyone, or look up any places on the internet. That's okay...the novelty of finding a new place to live is starting to fade for me, too.

-
A young man and his girlfriend have moved into my present place. He is tall, handsome, and knows it. I see him most nights in the condo carpark, talking to the security guard in northeastern dialect.

In the lift the other day, he was wearing a T-shirt which showed off his chest muscles, though he may have puffed out his chest to give me a better look.

Standing from behind, I looked admiringly over his shoulder as we went down in the lift.

His girlfriend, who is much smaller, was barely in my field of vision, so preoccupied was I with Mr Chest.

As he chatted to the security guard in the carpark, he lifted his T-shirt, so I could look at his back.

As I walked past I turned to look - which he saw, of course. Mr Chest and the guard laughed.

I have seen him several times since, and each time I give him an admiring look. My boyfriend has noticed that I like Mr Chest, too. 

About midday yesterday, I was in the lift again. It stopped at the fifth floor, and who should get in but my young friend.

He was wearing a wrap around his waist, and nothing else. When he saw me he sat down wearily on his haunches. He had just woken, as he was rubbing his eyes.

'What is wrong, my boy...are you sleepy?' I asked him, as a father might tease his son.

'Mmmm?' he replied sleepily.

'Oh...it's alright, young one,' I said, making a parental clucking sound.

I was teasing him. He knows what I am, and likes the attention, so why not play?

When the lift arrived on the ground floor, half a dozen tenants were waiting. They looked at my bare-chested friend, but said nothing.

His girlfriend had called, woken the boy, and told him to come down to meet her at the entrance.

An hour later, I had finished my business in the market, and was returning to the condo when who should walk out of the lift.

My young man, alone, had showered and dressed. He was wearing a black dress singlet, to show off his chest.

'Are you over your drowsiness?' I asked. He laughed.

Eight hours pass. Last night, after returning from work, I went down into the market again for a walk, and in the hope of seeing my young friend.

He walked into the lift as I was leaving it. 'You're going out to drink!' he joked.

Esan types, who are less hung up about themselves than Bangkok folk, love a good drink. Perhaps Mr Chest, who speaks in a thick Esan accent, is a recent arrival from the provinces.

'No, I am not,' I said, taken aback by his brazenness.

He made sissy sounds, as if he was imitating a girl. Now it was his turn to tease me.

Mr Chest behaves as if he is high on his own hormones. His girlfriend looked as if she was used to his boisterous streak, and said nothing.

Another tenant, aged in his late 20s, looked confused. He was not used to such behaviour.

I can see I shall have to treat Mr Chest with caution, unless I want to be ribbed mercilessly in front of other tenants.

Still, one good tease deserves another. Next time I shall have to stroke his chest, and ask his name.