Ploy Cherman: Let's get affected

Ploy

Actress Ploy Cherman says she can "relationship" with anyone.

Eh?

In an interview with TV host "Woody" Wootithorn Milintajinda, Ploy drops so many English words into her Thai that she ends up sounding affected and strange, says one viewer, who wrote about her concerns at the Pantip webboard.

Ploy is seeing Golf, of singer Golf and Mike fame. However, she is still fond of former boyfriend 'Dome' Pakorn Lum.

That's the background, dear reader - I am "contexting" you.

The Pantip poster is dismayed at the trend among Thai entertainers and the like to percolate their Thai with English, so they sound more educated.

For those who do have English, the need to impress the world feels less urgent, because they have "arrived".

The Pantip poster says she has noticed that look kreung (half breeds) who return to these shores rarely drop English into their Thai, perhaps because they are struggling so hard to remember all the Thai they forget (or never learned) while they were overseas.

But as for many all-Thai dara (stars) - they just can't help themselves. They are so busy dropping in English words to sound clever they forget that 1. Viewers may feel put off, and 2. Some might actually know more English than they do.

The Pantip poster says she can understand why English words might appear sometimes, as Thai language may be too slow to coin new words.

In other cases, the English equivalent of a Thai word which does exist might be more succinct. Confirm?

But - let's face it - most of the fancy set drop English words so they can sound more 'inter'.

I can't stand listening to Thais who lace their Thai with heavy doses of English. It's upsetting and jarring.

Woody

If a dara wants to speak English that much, then let's have it.

The person conducting the interview should abruptly switch to English (if he has any - and Woody does). Then we would get to see whether they are really as smart as they would have us believe.

Oops...what was that? - fang mai get [I don't understand]?

For those who love puncturing bubbles of pomposity, it's fun to catch out a celebrity using English affectedly, when she obviously has no idea what she's talking about.

Anyone who has English knows that we don't use the word "relationship" in such a blunt fashion. We decorate it with frilly words such as "have" and "a" beforehand. That's because it's a noun, not a verb.

"พลอยก็ Relationship กับทุกคน (Ploy gor relationship kab took khon - I can relationship with anyone)."

Dear me. It's back to the English primers for you, missy.

Confused, Ploy? Please feel free to drop me a line. Then I can "communicate" you what I mean.

Socially dysfunctional cook

We are being pleasant to one other, so peace to our household has returned.

Maiyuu and I can withdraw affection and pretend to be uninterested in each other for only so long. Being awkward is much harder than being pleasant, so why not just be nice?

The other day I came down with 24-hour flu. The boyfriend was staying with a friend, so I didn't see him much.

I sent him two text messages saying I felt sick. He responded to both messages, but talked about other things, not the fact that I had flu.

Maiyuu is a hardy type from the provinces, who wonders why anyone would make a fuss over something as trifling as 24-hour flu.

However, given the cold and aloof demeanour which I had showed towards him in the previous 48 hours, he was also in no hurry to offer sympathy.

So, the pendulum has swung back, and we are treating each other normally again, after a silly row days before over money.

He spent the day baking: a custard slice, and a cake with lemon and figs. He also made a trip to Silom to buy groceries, and at home, made a wall decoration from an old calendar.

He also made rice soup with chicken for me last night, after we failed to phone through an order to the food place in the market in time.

As boyfriends go, he's not doing too badly. He might be dysfunctional, depressed, and socially reclusive, but at least he can cook!

Postscript: I will take a few of Maiyuu's baking treats to the new restaurant/bar I have discovered close to Mum's shop, whose owner Wirut I met last week.

If Wirut likes them, he might be interested in buying Maiyuu's baking, for sale in his shop.

Maiyuu has packed a couple of custard slices as a test sample. I might take along some of his chocolate truffles as well.

Another pie, dear?

Boyfriend Maiyuu spent the night at a friend's place last night. He sent me a text message while I was at work, saying he would be away. He asked whether anything was wrong, as I had been behaving strangely towards him.

Since our argument a few days ago over money, I have barely touched him. I show polite interest, and chat when the mood takes me...but it is not the same, and he knows it.

I have not forgiven him for his unpleasant response when I asked for a larger share of the extra money I am making at work.

Maiyuu argues that any extra money he gives to me, I will spend on myself or others, not on our needs as a couple.

He is right, of course, but then a share of the money he keeps for us in the main account also goes on his own strange needs...for example, the nights he spent alone at a cheap, local hotel over Christmas, on a so-called mental health break.

At home, Maiyuu is working as hard as ever ... yesterday he made small pastry and custard pies, and larger custard slices with grapes inside.

He makes them so well, he should really sell them.

I feel sorry for him, as he does not know whether I am really enjoying the fruits of his labour any more, as I seem moody and distant.

If I appreciate his cooking, he feels valued.

If I ignore him or seem non-committal, he wonders if he has done something to upset me. He feels insecure and worried about what will happen next.

If he had a job, he would have a life outside home, from which he could draw a sense of self-worth or personal security even if his life with me was going through a bad patch.

But no. He wakes up every day not knowing what mood I will be in - but busies himself in the kitchen regardless, for what else can he do?

If he sits idly watching television, I might have a go at him...if he keeps busy, then at least he is out of harm's way.

What a life. Yet it's one has has chosen for himself.

This is not an invitation to readers to pile in with advice urging me to force him out to work. It's Maiyuu's life, and he must do as he sees fit.

I give him as much freedom as I think is reasonable, including control over most of the finances, because he wants to look after our needs as a couple, and make me happy.

There's nothing wrong with that. I just wish it didn't leave him (and me, in a financial sense) so exposed.

He rocked my boat

Three comments from readers, in response to the saga over the boyfriend and money. They were left in response to yesterday's update, in which I explain why Maiyuu gets to keep control over the finances. Some readers are evidently unhappy with the ending. Here are excerpts from three comments:

❤Whatever floats your boat pilgrim ! .. but how about a ban on any future pity evoking, sympathy inspiring narrative attempts to solicit your readers tender mercies?

❤"Looking after the finances in our household gives Maiyuu a sense of independence...dignity, if you like."-- this is kind of patronizing, don't you feel? But, yeah, whatever rocks your (and his) boat, mister.

❤Just like a beaten housewife, you need the negative treatment to reinforce your own idea of yourself as worthless, useless, undeserving of happiness.

I deleted the first two messages when they appeared, but kept the last, because the reader went to some effort to respond (it's longish). I have revived parts of them here so I can respond to everyone at once.

I don't know who left the first comment. The second came from a young overseas-based Thai blogger called Aurix, who has faulted me for 'patronising' behaviour in relation to Thais before. I can't be bothered covering the same territory again, so - sorry about that, kid!

It might come as surprising to some, but I do not write to evoke sympathy. I do not know how these sagas will end, as I write them from one day to another, like a diary.

So, if in the eyes of some readers, blog entries appear to flip-flop between inspiring sympathy for myself and being critical of Maiyuu, and back again, that's why.

On one day, he will be on top (so to speak); the next, I might assert myself again. When we are happy, we are in harmony again, so the flip-flopping settles down.

For some readers who have followed the blog a while longer, a collective portrait of Maiyuu emerges, despite the daily fluctuations. Here's another excerpt from the third comment above:

'He doesn't contribute financially, and he lies, steals, and drains your money (furthermore there are some recent questions about his health and state of mind).'

Perhaps Maiyuu is a work in progress - I am still teaching him how to behave [patronising enough, Mr Aurix?]

If fixing breaches in relationships was a simple matter of uttering a few pleasant-sounding words - or one partner asserting his dominance and power over the other - then the world would be a simpler place.

Unfortunately, it's not. Relationships take work. Not all readers may like the way I run mine with Maiyuu. In that case, just be thankful the relationship belongs to me, and that you don't have to share!

Some readers may also dislike Maiyuu. That does not worry me, as I never set out to portray him as a cute, compliant Thai boyfriend who does whatever I ask.

As readers, we like to identify with writers whose stuff we read. One other reader the other day was upset that I let Maiyuu get away with so much. 'I am sorry for caring!' he said.

Maybe I have lost his support. I hope I do not lose too many as a result of the Maiyuu sagas, as the blog is about much more than just him or me.

But at the end of the day, it is still my blog. Just as I can't stop idiots visiting, nor can I prevent them leaving again - though this blog's community of readers is probably no worse off for their absence.

New watering hole

I have found a new place to drink. It is close to Mum's shop, but better. Unfortunately, it also lies along the route between Mum's shop and her apartment.

She visits her apartment regularly when she is on duty at the shop. Luckily, last night I did not see her.

I am sure she would not appreciate seeing me at a rival shop. Times are tough, and I should know where my loyalties lie.

The new place, not 50m from Mum's own, has air conditioning, a counter out front, soft music, a small garden and waterfall, toilet, cheap menu...

It looks as smart as any Thai-owned eatery you would find in town, and looks sadly out of place in an area as rundown as Pin Khlao.

The eatery is owned by Wut, an enterprising businessman in his 30s whose girlfriend works nearby.

I took a seat. Within five minutes, he had introduced himself. We chatted for the next half an hour.

His place has seating inside, and a benchtop bar out the front overlooking a small rock garden and waterfall. As I sat outside admiring his handiwork, a friend from the past called out my name.

'Hello, Mali!' he said.

Kor is a young landowner in the area. We know each other from months ago when we used to drink at Mum's shop.

Back then, Kor was a regular. These days, he appears to have deserted the place, along with almost everyone else in the neighbourhood.

Kor joined me at my benchtop table, and ordered a whisky.

'You know, I own this place. Wut rents it from me,' said Kor. 'He's doing well.'

Occasionally, Wut would join us when he was not busy serving customers inside.

At least a dozen young people, mainly students, came for a meal in the two hours I was sitting there.

'Why is Mum's place so dead?' I asked Kor.

Wut, a newcomer to the area, listened in to Kor's tale.

'It's in a prime spot - right at the head of this street,' said Kor.

'The street is deep...there are condos down here, the local police station, even a naval property.

'Most people who enter this street have to pass Mum's shop first.

'As recently as 18 months ago, it was still a popular meeting place for locals...some nights the place was just packed.

'Police from the local station came, local shopkeepers, tenants from the condos, students...but these days they have all found new places to drink.

'Why did they lose their customers? Mum and her husband became complacent,' said Kor.

'If you turn up, you serve yourself. Often, the counter is cluttered with dirty plates, empty bottles and glasses, so you have to make a space for yourself.

'It is also overrun by dogs.'

Mum's shop now caters to casual foot traffic - people walking past the shop on their way home, who realise they have run out of cigarettes or water. She rarely sells much else.

As a place to meet local people and drink, Mum's shop has had its day, and everyone knows it. I don't know why she and her husband bother to stay.

'It is good for the memories,' I told Kor.

'There's not much else left,' he said, laughing.

Wut listened diligently, but had business problems of his own which he wanted to discuss.

'My two cooks make the same dishes on the menu every night, but they rarely taste the same. Yet for the sake of my customers, I want them to taste the same no matter who makes them.'

Does he sound the complacent type? No fear. I hope his business thrives and prospers, as a reward for his worrying, and hard work.

I welcome the arrival of Wut's eatery. It's a civilised way to drink and dine, and is well overdue on the Thon Buri side of the river, where tourists seldom venture.

Now, how to square it with Mum?

-
'Oh, here we go - I thought the money issue was decided,' said Maiyuu.

I had just told him of my latest proposal - that he give me an extra B2,000 a month, down from my initial demand of B3,000, and just a small share of the B12,000 in new earnings which I am making at work every month.

'I can still help with household expenses if we end up short,' I said.

Maiyu grumbled that, given my indecisiveness, I might go back to asking for the full B3000 before long.

This morning, before I woke, Maiyuu had visited the local supermarket to buy supplies. He returned with two bags full of vegetables, including mushrooms, corn, and asparagus, which he is now turning into a meal.

Readers chastise me for giving Maiyuu control over my ATM card.

Ideally, I would like Maiyuu to go back to work, and might suggest he looks for a casual job as a salad hand or pastry chef in a small eatery such as the one I found last night.

But for as long as looks after the household well, he can keep the card. I could assert myself and demand the right to do this and that, but where does that leave him - or us?