Sunday, 25 July 2010

Gentle shove towards self-help


Boyfriend Maiyuu is making progress with his efforts to find an outlet for his bakery produce.

The sister of a woman he knows has opened a hairdressing salon/coffee shop close to a four-star hotel in Silom.

She is in the process of finding suppliers for the shop, and Maiyuu could be chosen as one of them.

He made her some chocolate cupcakes as samples, and went to see her. His new friend was enthusiastic.

'You bake like a farang, which I like. Thai stuff is much sweeter, and doesn't appeal to all tastes,' she said.

I don't know what happens next. I gave Maiyuu B5,000 as start-up capital.

Hopefully he will put it to some good use, such as helping himself find work.

Friday, 23 July 2010

Bad boy Kew enters the monkhood


A naughty young man from my past, former bad boy Kew, is entering the monkhood to say sorry for his misdeeds.

Kew’s mother, who lives in Thon Buri, called me the other day, after I left my contact number at her apartment.

'He is entering the monkhood to say sorry for all the bad things he's done, and start again,' said his mother.

'If you go to see him at the temple, you can ask for an apology when you see him, as he did bad things to you, too,' she said.

I lost contact with Kew many months ago, when my cellphone was stolen, and I changed the number.

I had no way of giving him my new number, I realised the other day, except by taking it to his apartment myself.

Kew and I have spoken on the phone once or twice since I moved from Thon Buri, where I knew him, into town.

However, in the more than 12 months since boyfriend Maiyuu and I moved, Kew and I have not met. After I lost my phone, contact ceased altogether.

I recall our last phone conversation, months ago. I told Kew where I was living.

‘That’s so far. It’s a shame, because I really miss, you, phee,’ he said.

Kew has called me many things in the seven years we have known each other, but never ‘phee’ - a respectful term meaning elder, as in elder brother, or older friend. He sounded sad.

Maybe he really was missing me, I thought, as I ended our call.

Kew, 26, lives with his mother and school-age sister at an apartment building about 10min from where boyfriend Maiyuu and I used to live in Thon Buri.

The day before Kew’s Mum called this week – breaking a no-contact drought which lasted more than six months - I took the bus back to the old market town, Talad Phlu, which Maiyuu and I once called home.

From there, I took a wobbly motorcycle taxi to Kew’s apartment, a huge old place with more than 1000 tenants.

It is at least 300m off the main drag, close to a sprawling temple. Eateries, hairdressers and other busy retail outlets line both sides of long, winding roads.

I hadn’t seen the place in more than five years, since I visited the place one day, boyfriend escorting me, to retrieve a guitar which Kew had borrowed and refused to return.

The security guard pointed me to the office. Part of the place looked familiar, but I was beginning to despair of making contact with Kew again. For all I knew, his family may have moved out, and my friend could be living anywhere.

The office looked inviting. A man aged in his mid-40s, and a younger Thai woman sat inside.

'I am looking for a friend who used to live here,' I said.

I probably sounded a little sad, even hopeless, but what else was I supposed to do?

The manager asked me about Kew and his family.

I described Kew and what I could remember about his mother, hoping he would recognise them.

I didn’t have their contact number, and while I had visited their place before, could not remember where they lived. ‘His mother has cancer and is in a wheelchair. I met her once. Do you have any tenants like that?’ I asked the manager.

He couldn’t remember.

‘He also has a bright, school-aged sister. Kew himself is handsome, and sometimes dyes his hair blond,’ I said. ‘He used to wear a stud in his lip, and race around the carpark on his motorbike,’ I added.

The manager still could not recall anyone from the family, but I left my number anyway.

‘It might come...my memory just needs time,’ he said.

Kew’s family stayed at the apartment, this is true. However, Kew has gone through phases when he lives with friends, or is busy with his girlfriend. Who knows how often he returns to this part of town?

I left the place, not expecting to hear from his family again.

By next day, however, the manager’s memory must have kicked in.

He gave my number to Kew’s sister as she came home from school.

Kew’s mother called me as soon as her daughter handed over the number.

‘Is that you, Mali? This is Kew’s mother,’ she said.

Kew, she told me, is entering the monkhood for three months over Buddhist Lent.

‘He is at another temple in the area preparing to take his robes, but on the day he is admitted to the monkhood will return to a temple closer to home. He would be delighted to see you, if you want to pay a visit,’ said Mum.

The big day when Kew gives his vows as monk was to take place this week.

I can't be there for that, but can visit him at his temple on Tuesday.

'If he is making penance for all the bad things he did, will three months be long enough?' I asked his mother.

I was joking, of course. Mum laughed.

‘Should I take anything?’ I asked.

I have seen plastic buckets on sale containing personal effects for monks.

At time of the year, some Thais prepare enter the monkhood for the three months of Buddhist Lent, which starts on Tuesday.

‘Take one of those buckets...they contain items such as soap, toothpaste.,’ she said.

Postscript: I met Kew on the banks of the Chao Phraya river seven years ago, as he sat fishing with friends.

That was the start of an unusual friendship which, despite long absences on both sides, and a hostile period in which I could barely bring to look at my young friend, survives to this day.

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Dodgy slum ventures


‘Can you buy a drink for Ball? He’s pacing up and down like a wild thing,’ said his mother.

She called me at work.

‘I have run up a tab at a shop close to here...B300-400 on beers for him,’ she said.

‘When I call, you don’t answer. Today you dropped in, but stayed just a second,’ she complained.

Mum sounds desperate. She is running out of money, having to borrow just to buy the family food.

‘If you agree to pay, I will put two beers on the tab and you can give me the money when you visit next,’ she said.

I dropped in earlier in the day, but after seeing the foul look which Ball’s girlfriend Jay gave me, quickly left for home again.

Mum is in trouble financially as a result of a business venture she has entered.

It might just be a temporary thing, but it could also be a sign of bad news to
come.

-
Mum has bought a second-hand pick-up truck for B170,000, and is now involved in a venture selling cut-price petrol.

She bought it by exchanging her gold for cash at a pawnshop.

Earlier, she had contemplated borrowing the money from a finance company, and asked me to help raise the money she needed for a deposit.

I said no, so she went ahead and traded in her gold.

I did not know Mum had so much money hanging around her neck. I knew she owned a Volvo, parked up somewhere for want of a battery.

That should have alerted me to the fact the woman has money, even if she chooses to spend little of it on her own home, which is a tip.

I failed to pick up the signs. She is asset-rich, but cash poor.

I should have listened to carer R, all those months ago, when he said: 'Don't worry about Ball. His mother has money...she just chooses not to give her kids any of it.'

I think now of the times she has asked me for help buying this or that small household item, and feel annoyed.

The cash she needs to keep her family going from day to day wasn’t there, but that might be because she lost it in gambling, or had lent it to someone. Who knows? Meanwhile, she lives in a freehold home, and owned gold worth at least B170,000.

'I traded in amost everything to raise money for the truck, as I don't want to be in debt,' she said.

If I gave her money, it was for useful things such as paying for a phone top-up when Ball started a new job; or helping buy new work clothes for him.

None of the jobs last, because Ball does not like being told what to do. He took up a job recently at an insurance firm, but lasted just two days there.

He walked out after getting into an argument with an insurance salesman – a mere desk jockey, little more elevated in social status than Ball himself.

Since then he has been unemployed.

I find it hard to get excited now when he tells me he has found a new job, because I suspect he does not really want it.

I doubt I will help pay for his work clothes again, unless I should succumb to some new bout of pity towards him or his mother, and part with money even when I know I shouldn’t.

-
Ball's girlfriend Jay is unhappy about my frequent visits to their home, Ball tells me.

She has asked about the gay thing, and why I am hanging around.

However, Ball has assured Jay that I am just lonely and in need of a friend.

'In fact, the farang hopes that you and I will have kids one day,' he told her.

After hearing that, Jay was reassured about my intentions, he said.

Ball and I met outside his home for a quiet beer in a basketball court on the outskirts of the slum.

Earlier, we joined a drinking circle at his place, comprising his mother and her friends.

Ball did not enjoy their company, as he prefers to sit alone, or with me.

The atmosphere improved when mum's guests left, as it was just his family, me, and the kids at play.

But Ball wanted another quiet one so I met him outside on the basketball court - the first time we have taken a drink together outside his place since carer R, owner of the ya dong stand where we first met, left for the provinces months ago.

‘You have been good to me, buying me drinks even when I don't have the money,' Ball told me.

I wanted to hear something about how I was a supportive friend, too, but it didn't come. Maybe that would be expecting too much.

Half an hour later, Jay turned up. She scolded him for sneaking out.

Ball persuaded Jay to join us on the bench seat. They started cuddling, which made me feel out of place, so I left them to it.

-
Mum bought the truck by exchanging her gold for cash at a pawn shop. Now she wants to take the ownership papers to a finance company which she hopes will lend her money to get herself back into her gambling circle.

At the moment, she can't play to her heart's desire, because her capital is tied up in the pick-up.

A few days ago, she sounded me out about a loan. Once again, I shall say no.

A sneaky tattooed worm of a man started turning up at her place about the time she decided to buy the truck. His name is Kung.

Kung hires the truck from Mum every day to pursue a petrol venture in which she is his silent partner.

He buys cheap petrol from truck drivers, who call him when they have something to sell.

In Mum's truck, he travels to meet them, takes delivery of the petrol, and the next day sells it to petrol stations. The difference in price is his profit.

He employs youngest son Beer to lift the petrol into the back of the truck.

After truckies call, Kung borrows the money he needs from Mum to pay them. I have seen her pull huge wads of cash from her purse, which she hands over to Kung.

He goes to see them the same night, and the exchange takes place.

He pays Mum B500 a day for use of the truck, and wages for Mr B. Ownership of the pickup truck is in Mum's name.

Sound dodgy? I suspect the truck drivers are slyly selling their boss's petrol on the side and pocketing the proceeds. We will see.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Bakery break-out, girlfriend blues


Chef Maiyuu’s break into the commercial baking world may have arrived.

Maiyuu knows a woman who runs a bakery close to home. She sells little from her shop, but makes mainly to order. However, her shop has a display cabinet, and a fridge.

Maiyuu made several chocolate cupcakes for her to sample. She called him back as soon as she had tried them.

‘Your baking is delicious!’

She has called Maiyuu back to the shop so they can talk.

Recently, Maiyuu has also talked about making home-made ice-cream for order. He will put up an advertisement in our condo, and any tenants interested in ordering his stuff can get in touch.

At the moment he has several flavours in our fridge: blueberry soft cream, kiwi sherbet/sorbet, mango, and milk tea.

-
My brain appears to be growing soft. Thankfully, I am aware of the change as much as anyone else, so have not suffered any dramatic loss of face.

I get tired easily. Things which mattered to me once now have a fuzzy feel about them, as if they are really not so important after all.

Maybe I should create a Facebook account, and vent my spleen in the same way as everyone else.

Once I have let off steam, will I start caring again? Or has it seeped away into the lost years of my youth?

-
Ball may be in danger of losing his girlfriend Jay.

Jay's father has arrived in town from Chiang Mai, where he lives, to pick up his daughter. He wants to take Jay back to Chiang Mai, as he misses her.

Jay does not want to go, as she has found a good job here, and loves Ball.

Ball knows that if Jay goes, he will have to start again.

He has mixed feelings about their relationship. He loves Jay, and feels sorry for her at the same time.

'She has a big bruise on her leg where I kicked her once, and bruises on her wrists after she put up her hands to stop me hurting her,' he said.

Yesterday he apologised for the harm he has inflicted on her in the year they have known each other.

The good news for Jay is that Dad could be persuaded to let her stay, if he knows she is happy. The bad news is, he is under the mistaken impression that Jay lives in Bangkok alone.

Jay's elder brother, who also lives in Bangkok, lied to Dad on her behalf. He mentioned nothing about the fact she actually lives with Ball's family.

Dad has arrived, and wants to see his daughter, so it is only a matter of time before the truth comes out.

Ball said that when Dad makes contact, he will probably ask his mother to talk to the man, as it is a matter for adults to discuss, not teenagers.

I told him that Jay should have told the truth from the outset.

'Nothing would make a father more worried than knowing his teenage daughter is living in a strange city alone,' I told him.

'Jay's brother told the wrong lie.'

Saturday, 3 July 2010

New job beckons, brothers fall out


Ball has found a new job, with an insurance company in town.

He will be a company messenger, taking paperwork from one floor or desk to another.

The boss called him yesterday to confirm he ahd the job. He starts on Monday.

Earlier, they offered the position to his girlfriend Jay, but she had found another job in the meantime. Mum called to see if they would accept men instead.

Ball visited the place to submit his application form, and gave a brief interview.

Several days passed in which we wondered if the company would call, and finally it did.

‘I am excited about the prospect of starting work,’ he said, pouring a whisky.

Mum and Ball gave me the good news when I visited yesterday morning.

Ball’s uncle, Toob, was also present. He took a taxi from Pak Nam, where he lives, to spend the day again with Ball’s family.

‘It’s wet, so there’s no work,’ said Toob, who is employed on the docks.

Today, if all goes well, we will visit a department store or clothes market to buy work outfits for Ball.

He needs just about everything: trousers, work shirts, neckties.

Mum wants him to wear the white shirts he wore in his last job. Some of them date from his days as a school student. We think he can do better.

Ball and I are holding out for proper work shirts, perhaps with a fine stripe.

Most of all, I am looking forward to seeing him in a necktie, as I have never seen him dressed up.

‘I don’t know how to tie one...but once it is on, I am told you can just loosen it and take it off your neck. The next day, when you want to wear it again, you slip it on and tighten it again,’ he said.

‘I will call in on Monday morning and tie it for you,’ I said.

-
Uncle Toob sat silently for hours, so much so I thought he was anxious or depressed.

However, he sprang to life in early afternoon when Ball started arguing with his brother, Beer.

Mr B had decided he would apply for work at a local eatery, washing dishes.

‘He just wants to meet the girls there. I did the same when I was his age,’ Ball told me.

‘It’s a rotten job – the boss treats the staff poorly, you will have a stack of dishes to wash. The pay is lousy, and all this just to meet girls?’ he told Mr B.

Mr B was unimpressed. ‘If I want to find a job, that’s up to me,’ he said.

Mum chipped in. The conversation - more like a series of rapid-fire exchanges - quickly ratcheted up in intensity.

Ball wanted some acknowledgement from his brother that he had done the same thing in his time, and knew what it was like.

Mr B, however, wasn’t interested in giving his brother credit, or taking his advice.

A couple of stiff exchanges followed, in which Ball referred to his brother unflatteringly as ‘ai sat’ ('your animal') to show his displeasure.

Mr B made the mistake of pointing in his brother’s face – and it was all on.

Ball leapt to his feet and swung a fist at Mr B. The two of them grabbed each other, clawing at each other’s faces.

The scrummage – more like a moving man hug, as neither was making much headway – drifted from the door, back towards Mum’s bedroom. Someone stepped on a beer bottle, which shattered.

Mum jumped in, trying to pull the boys apart. I tried to separate them too, without success, and concentrated on trying to keep them away from the broken glass.

Uncle Toob snapped out of his reverie, jumped in between them, and managed to pull Ball off his brother.

Ball’s nose was bloodied, his right eye red. He lay on the floor in Toob’s arms, panting.

I tended to Mr B, whose foot was bleeding from a minor wound. I sat him down, found a towel for his foot, and helped Mum clean up the glass.

‘That was an argument over nothing. If your brother wants to find a job, then let him!’ Mum scolded Ball.

Mr B was still angry.

‘You are no role model to me as an elder brother. All you do is drink. I can only look to Boy,’ Beer said in tears, referring to the boys’ elder brother, soldier Boy.

Mum sent Mr B out to perform an errand. His face was unmarked, unlike Ball’s, who has a cut nose, red eye, and scratch on his chin.

Ball resumed his seating position on the floor, back to his mother. He cried as he nursed his drink.

‘Beer’s face doesn’t have a mark on it...but you scratched me in three places,’ he told his mother in tears, as if to say she had treated Mr B more favourably.

‘I was trying to keep you away from the glass. How do you know all those marks come from my fingernails?’ asked Mum.

I stayed for another hour to cool Mr Ball’s temper and lighten his mood.

Uncle Toob offered advice about the relationship between brothers, and how alcohol can ruin everything.

‘In a family, the mere knowledge that you drink can be held against you. If a fight takes place, everyone assumes it was the drinker’s fault,’ he said.

Ball pleaded with his mother not to tell his elder sister Kae about the fight with Mr B.

Feisty Kae speaks her mind with the boys. ‘I am already in the wrong, no matter what I say,’ he said.

I went to work.

In early evening, Ball’s elder brother, soldier Boy, and Ball’s girlfriend Jay turned up at home.

Jay complained about the marks on Ball’s face, so the story came out in the end.

I have yet to hear what Kae said about it, but elder brother Boy stepped in to exercise some male leadership.

Mum told me what happened: ‘Boy gave Ball a long talk, and asked him, as Beer’s elder, to apologise for the fight.

'The two argued briefly, but have now made up. Ball cried again, but is okay now,’ she said, when I called in mid-evening.

An hour later, when I called again, Ball had gone to bed.

‘He’s had as much as he can take for one day,’ said Mum.

It was the first time I have seen the boys hitting each other. They snap and bicker, but I have never seen them come to blows.

Mum, however, has seen it all.

‘This was a minor fight, compared to some I have seen.’