Lazy cleaner, plucked eyebrow distraction

A cleaner called me over to act as translator.

She was talking to a farang couple who are about to move in to my building.

I don't enjoy this job. Foreigner newcomers inevitably feel awkward, as if they are being treated like children.

They have their dignity, even if they are forced to communicate with amusing hand signals.

I feel awkward, because I don't know them, but this is the first time we get to meet.

'Tell them that if they have any trouble moving in, they can call on my help, or call the office, and they'll send someone down to fix it,' she said.

Yes, yes, dear.

The cleaner, aged in her 40s, and comes from Esan. We have spoken before, usually when farang C, an immediate neighbour of mine who has no Thai, wants to hire one of the condo cleaners to do casual work cleaning his place.

I tell the cleaners what time to arrive.

I don't mind doing that, because I know farang C. The first time I asked the cleaners on his behalf if they would like to clean his place, he was grateful.

'I have waited two years for that...they just don't understand basic English.'

I suspect farang C is just impatient.

I passed on the request to the foreigner couple. The man said nothing, and let his wife do the talking.

Her eyebrows were so sharply plucked, they were distracting. As I talked to her, I found myself looking at her pencil-line eyebrows rather than her mouth.

As soon as we had finished our business, I walked away.

The cleaner gave me a smile. I reckon she could have told them that herself, but wanted to put on a show. Regardless, I don't like it, and would rather not do it.

Next time, dear, get a dictionary.

Argument over, kitchen cranks up again, pear charlotte comes out

Relations with the boyfriend have now improved, after a rocky patch which lasted days.

When Maiyuu is unhappy he passes sarcastic comments rather than confront a problem directly, perhaps because he is worried about how I will react.

When he made some smart remark yesterday, I turned down the TV so we could have one of our 'talks'.

I could not bear this ill-feeling carrying on for any longer.

'Living with you is not easy. I get up in the morning and I am not sure what mood you will be in. If you're in a good mood, will it last, or will you explode?' he said.

Maiyuu walked around looking glum and making sarcastic comments because he thought I was in one of my mercurial, unpredictable states.

I went silent and started thinking broody thoughts about going back overseas because I thought he had lost interest in our relationship.

Our bad patch started when he bought an I-Phone on hire purchase. He said he would find the money to pay the debt himself, and asked a woman he knows if he could sell bakery in her shop.

'First, she has to cancel the arrangement with her present supplier. It's just a small shop, but until she has spoken to the person who supplies her with bakery, I can't start work,' he explained yesterday.

I shouldn't have expected that a work opportunity would come along so easily.

If I was the coffee shop owner, I wouldn't enjoy the task of telling a supplier that his services are no longer needed, which is perhaps why Maiyuu has not heard back from the woman.

He doesn't want to call her himself, in case she feels pressured.

Possibly, as he says, nothing will come of it.

'I couldn't understand why you were telling me nothing about this bakery business. I expected to hear how many pieces of baking you would make a day, what you could hope to earn...' I said.

'Foreigners would get excited about such a piece of news.'

For Maiyuu, this farang was getting his hopes up needlessly, and maybe trying to pressure him into getting a job.

A few days ago, I told Maiyuu not to worry if he could not raise the entire B900 a month repayment himself. 'But it would be nice if you could find some work to do.'

I still feel that way, but will stop hassling the poor lad for now.

Foreigners would probably chase a work opportunity, no matter how humble.

But Maiyuu barely knows this woman, and is really at her mercy as to whether this baking venture comes off or not.

-

Maiyuu is now back to his usual productive self in the kitchen, after a lean few days in which he made little, no doubt partly because we weren't getting along.

Yesterday he made a macaroni pie, a berry fruit loaf, and rice risotto, made to his own recipe, with salmon and caviar on top. Today, he’s working on a pear charlotte.

Teaching beckons, touching necktie moment

I want to go back to work teaching, to meet Thais, and keep my mind off other, more troubling things.

I enjoy teaching English to Thais, and haven't done it for months.

Today I visited a large noodle place on soi Amorn, the slummy side of my condo.

I have been in there once or twice before, and noticed that it is popular with tertiary students.

When I visited this morning, I was the only customer, but I noticed that two or three tables had been pulled together by previous customers, probably students. They like to grab a noodle before class.

The place, which has potted plants and Buddha spirit houses on the perimeter, and also sells tea, coffee, and fresh fruit juice, is run by a husband and wife couple, who were joined today by their son. While I waited for my noodle, I heard Dad ask his son, aged about 18, about work.

'You can't just sit around here all day doing nothing,' he said.

His son, who wore jeans and a black T-shirt, looked rough, like part of the local element. When young men who work in the street walked past, he called out. A few came in to chat.

Dad's conversation with his son reminded me of the ones I have with Maiyuu. I was delighted to witness it.  He didn’t look too interested in what his father had to say. I know the feeling!

When Dad started reprimanding his son, the young man looked around at me, to see if he should feel embarrassed. No, it was just some farang, who can't understand the language.

It was safe to carry on, so he did. I can't tell you what else was said, as the traffic outside the shop was too noisy.

I will go back tomorrow, and ask Mum and Dad if they would like their son to learn English when he is not working, to keep his mind occupied.

If that fails, I shall ask them if I can leave a notice in the shop advertising my services as a teacher to any tertiary students who might be interested.

-
A touching scene between two security guards at my condo: A guy in his 50s was doing up a necktie for a new recruit, aged in his early 20s.

The new guy wore a cap, crisp white shirt, and blue trousers...standard uniform for the guards at our place.

The older guy and I have spoken half a dozen times since I moved in. He was showing the new guy the ropes.

The young man stood there obediently as the older one did up his tie.

Then the young one undid his trousers, to tuck in his shirt.

'Go into the guards room to do that,' said the older man, perhaps concerned that this farang's modesty would be offended by the sight of a security guard in a state of half-undress.

I went out to do errands. An hour later, as I walked past the guards station, the young one gave me a big smile, and a salute. Thank you! He's off to a good start.

Invasion of privacy, Patsy lament

I am in trouble after Maiyuu yesterday found some of my recent blog posts about him.

'You talk about my life in too much detail. When people meet me after reading your blog they will hold me in contempt,' he says.

I told Maiyuu that my purpose in writing about him is to show that our lives can still work together, even if we come from different backgrounds and cultures.

However, that sounds lame. I agree with him, I have been disclosing too much detail about our lives.

Ultimately it is no one else's business but our own, and I do not want to hurt my own boyfriend by writing stories about him for the benefit of readers on the internet who don't even know us.

'I don't use your real name, nor my own,' I reminded him.

'I know that, but I still meet your friends, some of whom will have read your blog. You tell people that I have no education, that I am this, that...'

Finding those posts must have hurt, but I have never hidden the blog from Maiyuu.

I have asked him to write for it more than once, and when he read it yesterday it was at my own invitation.

He just spent more time with the thing than he normally does...though probably not long enough to know that I also write flattering things about our relationship, when it is going well.

'I don't mind if you criticise me...you just write too much about our lives, as some of that stuff should remain private.'

You know what? I am inclined to agree ... I do say too much. From now on I shall try to be more circumspect and judicious about what I offer readers on this blog.

-
Blogger Bangkok Bugle writes that True Visions - provider of our satellite TV service - intends axing the BBC Entertainment channel from its line-up this month.

I enjoy watching British dramas, sitcoms and soaps. Maiyuu and I are addicted to re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous - so much so that we remind each other during the day whenever the adventures of Patsy and Eddie are next due to pop up on our TV.

If the BCC is axed, then True can probably kiss our subscription goodbye. See Bangkok Bugle's post here [link deleted - it died]. He is encouraging subscribers to join an email campaign against the change. I have sent my protest email; I encourage other readers who feel the same way to do the same.

Carefree Thai boyfriends, passing the living-together test

Fellow blogger BB reckons Bangkok 'must be one of the worst places in the world to find a boyfriend'.

They are unreliable, childish, speak a different language, and are hopeless in bed, he says. But it's not just him alone - see the comments left in response to his main post here.

A follow-up is here.

I can't speak from experience, as I have had only one Thai boyfriend.

At times, he has been all of the above. It depends on when you ask me.

Readers of this blog have remarked more than once about how my moods swing drastically from one day to the next: one moment, the boyfriend is in my good books. The next, he's a loser, and I can't wait to go back overseas.

Fine, I say: You try living with one!

Occasionally I feel sorry for Maiyuu. I wonder if he has anyone who really understands him, other than this most unreliable of candidates - me. His own friends rarely ask him what he is doing with his life.

Likewise, he rarely asks them about any of the things which as farang we regard as important: Do you have a job? How's it going? How's the boyfriend, family? Are you happy?

They talk about other things...I can't remember quite what, as I do not mix with Maiyuu and his friends.

He has gone out for three of the last four nights. They must find something to talk about, even if it's none of the important stuff.

Miayuu's purchase of an I-Phone over my objections will have far-reaching repercussions for our relationship, because Maiyuu will have to work to meet the hire purchase payments every month.

Earlier, he proposed finding the money from my earnings, by cutting down on the amount he spends cooking and baking.

Later, after I objected, he agreed that I should not have to pay for the purchase. He will find the money himself, he says.

That means no more idle days spent at home watching TV, or, as the mood takes him, baking up delights he has seen on Martha Stewart's show.

He might well enjoy being a nester - making our condo cosy for when I come home at night - but that only works as long as we do not feel the financial pinch.

Since he has bought his blasted I-Phone, Maiyuu has in any case reverted to being a kid.

He rarely ventures into the kitchen any more, still less does anything with me outdoors, such as walking to the supermarket, or visiting the condo pool. He devotes every moment to exploring the inner recesses of his I-Phone - downloading this, poking away at that.

Fascinating - except Maiyuu is now an adult, aged 30 (or is it 31).

Hopefully, the novelty will fade before too long, because he's capable of so much better.

Judging by comments left in response to BB's blog posts, foreigners look for Thai boyfriends who are playful, childish and cute.

Oh, please. Is it because Thai guys look cute, that we assume they should act cute as well? Stand up all those foreigners who have lived with Thais, and still think their main duty in life is to be 'cute'.

I doubt many foreigners would tolerate a Thai partner who - abandoning himself to the childish behaviour which his foreigner boyfriend supposedly encourages - spends recklessly, won't work and is not prepared to pay his way.

If we have to live with these people every day, our 'specs' would soon change. We would demand our Thai mate starts thinking and acting like an adult, because a partnership demands nothing less.

No one person should have to do everything in a relationship. We have to help each other get through the day. If that sounds unromantic to you, that's because it is - life is a chore, and there's no getting around it.