Sneaky act

I intercepted one of Maiyuu's internet chats last week.

Actually, 'intercept' is too mild a word. While he stepped away from the com, I switched on the device in MSN Messenger which keeps a history of the user's conversations.

I didn't like the amount of time he was spending chatting. I knew he was chatting on gay websites, but I didn't know what he was chatting about, or why he felt the need to sit there for six or more hours a day. Sometimes the people he was chatting with would call him on the telephone, so he was giving out his phone number as well.

When I opened the 'received files' folder in our shared com, where chat conversations are kept, at least a dozen chats appeared. I didn't want to read them all. Besides, I couldn't. I had just a few minutes to read them quickly, while he was taking a shower.

I chose the longest one. This particular chat went on for at least 30 minutes. His chatting friend was a young Thai who said he was gay and single. Maiyuu told him where he worked, and what he did. As far as I can tell, all that was truthful and accurate. Maiyuu even invited his chat friend to drop into the shop some time to meet himself and his boss.

Maiyuu admitted he had a boyfriend. This did not deter the boy, though it did make him nervous.

The young one was still keen on a real-life meeting, as long as they were alone (well, of course!). He asked for more details.

When Maiyuu started talking about his boyfriend, I assumed he was talking about me. I am his boyfriend, after all.

But this is the world of internet chat, where nothing is as it seems. 'My boyfriend is my boss, and I live with my elder brother,' he said.

What?

I read further. 'My boss lives with another guy, and they have been together 10 years, but I am his second boyfriend.'

The upsetting thing is, Maiyuu does indeed have a gay boss who has his own long-term boyfriend. They live together, but argue and break up all the time.

Maiyuu talked about how, after he finishes work, often he goes back to his boss's place, where he stays the night. They had been to the movies together, and of course see each other almost every day.

All this is true. Maiyuu often sends me text messages saying he has to work late, or asking if he can stay over with his boss. I have heard him giving counsel to his boss, when he is having trouble with his fractious boyfriend. He also told me about their trip to the movies.

When his boss calls, as he does almost daily, Maiyuu sounds tender and considerate. He talks in a quiet voice, and often takes himself into the other room to take the call, where I can't hear them.

The internet chat ended abruptly, with Maiyuu telling his young friend that his 'elder brother' had just told him to get off the computer. True: That night, I finally lost my patience with Maiyuu's endless chatting, after sitting in silence with him for hours. I shouted at him and asked if he really wanted a boyfriend.

'You sit there for hours chatting to strangers on the internet, but ignore me, your real boyfriend,' I complained.

I had read enough. After Maiyuu finished his shower, I challenged him about what he told the boy. I admitted I had kept a record of his conversations, and helped myself to them while he was away from the com.

'It's all just a fantasy...I do it to have fun,' he said.

Large chunks of the conversation were indeed fabrication, stories which he told the boy because he knew they were the kind of thing he wanted to hear. Spectacular stuff about visiting nightclubs where rich people take drugs, opening short-stay hotels for the day, and other high-so stuff which I know the real Maiyuu does not do.

The worrying thing is not the outright fantasy, as that is typical of internet chat. It's the stories he told about his boss which might just be true. Maybe they are indeed in a relationship - or if they are not yet at that point, maybe it is something which Maiyuu fantasises might happen one day.

Where does that leave me, his boyfriend? I have been relegated to 'elder brother' status. Maybe Maiyuu would like that to happen, too...or possibly it's a role I already perform in his eyes, and he loves me for it all the same.