I have been contemplating moving to a condo closer to work.
It is just five minutes from the central business district in Bangkok, so rents are more expensive. But it is close to the office, and my friend farang C lives there.
I asked Maiyuu excitedly if he would like to move.
'Of course,' he said. 'But we'll need money.'
I worked out how much we would need to help us move. Farang C sent me the number of the condo, so I could ask if they had any spare rooms for rent.
'Here's the number,' I said to Maiyuu.
'What's the rush? We can hardly leave tomorrow. You'll need the money first,' he said.
'It's not about rushing. If you call now, you can ask about the place, and if they have anything for rent. If there are none vacant, then that is the end of it.
'Why waste time organising money and moving men, only to find later that they have nothing for rent?'
The boyfriend was not convinced. In truth, I suggested we move mainly so he would get his own kitchen. He enjoys cooking, but in our present place has little preparation space.
At work last night, I started to have second thoughts. 'The motorcycle taxi men will charge you 40 baht to get to work. They put the price up when they see you are farang,' said farang C.
The owner might ask for six-month maintenance payments, as they did with farang C, I thought.
The appeal was starting to wane, but I was out of step with boyfriend Maiyuu, who was belatedly starting to warm to the idea...
.. considering the age and cultural difference between you two, what you've got might be as good as it gets.
ReplyDeletedon't move...save your money for other useful things...
ReplyDeletejust keep on posting...especially that cutie in the corn field.
maybe you can find something half way between the two places? or something in the same area you live now with better amenities
ReplyDeleteI agree that considering our age difference, I probably can't expect much better. He shows me a healthy disrespect, given what he tolerates in me, his ageing farang BF.
ReplyDeleteI am less keen on the idea of moving now, though the BF reckons there's nothing good about the place we are in...so, we will see.
He showed some loyalty when you had another guy on the go, as we were reading a few months back.
ReplyDeleteHe is nothing if not loyal...just a little lazy, occasionally.
ReplyDeleteYou know on one hand you complain because he is lazy and then on the other you go on and on about his cooking and how great your relationship is these last couple of months...now that you two have time to share.
ReplyDeleteIf Maiyuu got a job then he will be gone for long periods of time and he will have gained a measure of independence. Is that what you want?
If I recall when Maiyuu is working you spend alot more time chasing other guys....
Is that what you want?
You want a traditional marriage (you are the man who works and Maiyuu is the wife...) but yet you want him to be more equal and more of a partner.
Didn't you enjoy his passivity at one time? Didn't you enjoy his always looking to you for direction before?
Now, you want a partner...subserviency seems to have worn off...
Not real sure if a society like Thailand comprehends equality....
Might have a basic problem there...
Tao: I am not sure if Thai society comprehends equality either. However, he does not have to think about it like that. I am not forcing him to work. I will say nothing about it.
ReplyDeleteIf he wants to cook as much as he does, and afford a more expensive condo as well, then he might have to find more work. Apart from anything else, it is not good for him to sit at home all day. He needs to get out more and see friends.
Of course I would miss him if he was not around as much. We need some balance. When he works, he can be gone for several days. I can't call him, and have no idea where he is or when he will return. When he is at home, he may stay indoors virtually all day, and get me to do the household errands for him.
But that is a small complaint. The main problem is that I am not sure if I can rely on him. He has never finished painting our place. He just didn't think it was necessary, so has never finished the job. How I feel about living in messy surroundings does not come into it.
If we moved, I might have to call on his help. Would he be willing to cooperate, or just leave me to do the lot?
It is great to have him at home, cooking, and looking happy. I apologise if I go 'on and on' as you put it, but readers appear to enjoy hearing about how farang and their Thai boyfriends live.
These are just stories, and every day is something different. Like all of us, he can be great one day, and not so good the next. No one post will capture the lot. It's like a running diary.
If I read all the entries I have written about him, I suspect they would leave an overwhelmingly negative impression, and fail to do justice to the young man. Despite his faults, Maiyuu is a special young man, in my eyes - because I love him.
"If I read all the entries I have written about him, I suspect they would leave an overwhelmingly negative impression, and fail to do justice to the young man. Despite his faults, Maiyuu is a special young man, in my eyes - because I love him."
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I did have a negative opinion of him when I first started reading your blog. Gradually, I came to realized that my opinions were wrong because really, we don't know the ins and outs of your relationship. We're hearing one-side of the story, and you probably writing out of frustration-venting anger. I don't know.
When things go bad, we write all kinds of stuff but as we calm down, it's a different story and feeling.
I don't know what to think about your relationship with Maiyuu but if you're happy in it, then I'm happy for you.
I think you're starting to have doubts?
ReplyDeletePerhaps even more so after talking to people more similar to yourself.
Whether the relationship is rocky or not, or has it hit a low, only you yourself know, but it'd do you good to sit down and talk.
He didnt come across as lazy to me, more like he just didnt think it's important.
I feel.
Takashi: I do not have doubts about my relationship with the BF, just the proposal that we move to an inner-city condo.
ReplyDeleteHe says himself, 'I am not the one who has to make the decision.'
Actually, I do not mind if he helps me to decide. What he means is, 'I am not the one who has to pay.'
Lyn: Thank you. Just wanting someone to be happy is enough. It is also a sweet thing to say.